Friday, August 14, 2009

Wha? Where am I? How old am I?

Hello minions!

My profound apologies for the delay between entries, but feel free to blame my father and scowl at him as you pass him on the street.

So much has happened in the last couple of months - I pushed out a couple more teeth, learned to point with great aplomb, and within the space of a week went from standing in a wobbly fashion to walking all over the place - yay, mobility!

Here is some photographic proof of these great achievements.



Walking around...

I like to walk everywhere. Here is a typical scene where I have decided to walk upstairs and one of the slow old adults is trying to frantically catch me before I fall and damage the marble.

The other big news is that I have relocated to a much more sensible evil lair.
You might notice that my previous residence was a little bit... obvious.

Well, now we have moved into a smaller place, something called an 'apartment', which makes it far more easy for me to blend in with the natives. Actually, I rather like this new place. Despite being the size of our old garage, it is fun to walk around in, and looks like we now live in Tuscany - hopefully this should confuse Interpol.

Thankfully I managed to retain my chair, from which I dispense nefarious commands.

I was a good boy (for once) and helped with the moving process. Here I am packing Uncle Paul's antiques,

Ironically, the movie I am chewing on is 'Babette's Feast'.
As soon as cupboards were empty, I helpfully filled them up again with my own loot.

And of course I understood that sacrifices had to be made, and while the move was in progress I resorted to bathing in the sink...

or even on the balcony.

Of course, none of this a great strain, for I am secretly from a distant planet known to your Earth scientists as 'Krypton'.

Just kiddin'.
So, what else have I been up to?
Well, mum and dad took me to the beach a little while ago. I liked it very much and found myself inspired. I'll bet nobody has ever thought of constructing an underwater lair! Mwahaha! Just call me Stromberg.

We also entered a fun run called 'wharf to wharf' which goes from Santa Cruz to Capitola. It's a six mile run/walk/crawl and with my help mum and dad set a new record of three days, seven hours and two minutes.

All this exercise is turning them into a couple of hotties, check out their latest photograph.

I was too busy hanging ten to be in the picture.

As the more astute among you must know, I recently celebrated my first birthday. I knew this had to be a momentous occasion, and so I went to my friend Cosme's birthday party the weekend before to see how it should be done.
Here's me and Cosme during the math challenge. It was an easy question.

Later I discovered that party hats are the natural enemies of evil geniuses. Yes, I was thrilled.

One element I did enjoy was the ball pool - amazingly the purple ones tasted exactly like eggplant. I was expecting grape, oh well.

Full of balls, it was time to say goodbye. I was sorry to leave, but I had learned a lot, and besides, my diaper was full.

With lots of great ideas, I instructed my alleged parents to throw me a super birthday bash, and they didn't disappoint. Dad spent the afternoon incinerating pieces of flesh on the new BBQ, and mum and me entertained the 30+ guests.
Even though I was surrounded by Gills, the Bakers and Yakes were still stuck in England, missing all the fun. However, they still found a way to join in via FaceBook!

A cake appeared, decorated by dad, and I relished the thought of biting Elmo's face.

For some reason they felt compelled to set light to a small wax statue of Elmo, and mum helped me blow the flame out (almost pulling an MJ in the process. What? Too soon?)

At first they left me with a big hunk of cake to figure out.

But then dad came along and showed me the correct way to shove it into my cakehole with my meaty shovels.

The partying was getting to me, and so I had a power nap before opening my presents.

I fortified myself with a popsicle (ice lolly for my British fans), and then tore into the carefully wrapped gifts.

3.2 seconds later, they were exposed.

I got some very cool presents (thanks everyone, thank you cards will be with you before 2012), but mum and dad were disappointed that I didn't use Aunty Julie's gift correctly. Apparently you are meant to walk along the patterns and make noise, not just play with the on/off switch.

But then I showed them the front of the box.

I'll leave you with some images of my peeps, first mum in an enigmatic, moody light.


Uncle Paul.

And the whole Gill/Baker clan!

Whew! This was a long blog!

HJB out.