Tuesday, September 8, 2009

13 months young.

Hello future minions,

Well, I am managing to squeeze in and write this blog while dad is taking a rare break from the computer. He has written a 'to do' list and is ploughing his way through it in a vague attempt to avoid changing my diapers.

A lot has happened since I turned 1 and became an adult. I am still doing lots of walking, especially in my new outfits, and because of this activity my weight appears to have plateaued at 22lbs.

I'm growing taller though (30 inches), and already have size six feet. I think some height would add a sense of menace which could prove useful in the future.

I don't always walk around unaided though - occasionally I like to relax in my walker which also plays classical music, very sophisticated.

Every day is spent plotting diabolical deeds and honing my defensive skills - when I am not attacking dad and biting his knees, I like to engage in a friendly bout with my arch nemesis, Dr. Quackles McBeak.

Speaking of dad, I have to say that so far I am not impressed with his parenting abilities. In fact, the stuff he has been teaching me has, quite frankly, been downright irresponsible.

First, he taught me the correct Mr. Magoo face to pull to show my displeasure when forced to eat vegetables.

Then he showed me the joys of eating mashed potatoes without the aid of a bowl or a spoon.

Later he demonstrated the correct way to smoosh one's face up against the kitchen window in order to shock mum. Luckily, granny had just washed this window...

He's not all bad though - he did take me swimming today for the first time - I loved it!

I've been considering many new forms of transport in order to facilitate my world domination plans. After rejecting the box...

I then tried what I thought was a rocket - only to discover that is was a crude mock-up of a pineapple house. The shame.

Finally I settled for my big Cat truck - oh, and don't get me wrong, I don't normally drink and drive. This was just staged as a publicity shot.

OK chums - see you again soon,

HJB out.