Father done good.

Greetings, subjects,

Well, it's been a steamy couple of weeks. The weather outside my prison has been getting hotter and hotter, and bellyomom has been warming up at an alarming rate.
I watched a fascinating documentary the other day titled 'An Inconvenient Womb', and if the large presenter was correct, I can only expect the temperature to keep rising! I have taken steps to reduce this crisis, namely by recycling everything that comes my way via mother's gullet, and reducing my emissions - although the same can't be said for father.

I have a new game that I like to play with my alleged parents. I call it 'Pokey Mom'.
The idea is to give her a good hard kick and then, when she retaliates by prodding at me with her finger (or even worse, telling the balding oaf to lay his sweaty mitts on me) I quickly shuffle over to another position and kick even harder. This game can go on all night, and frequently leads to much hilarity on my part, and frequent bathroom breaks on mother's part.

It appears that I will be getting photographed again very soon, since during the last doctor visit it was suggested that I was a little large for my age. Ha! These quacks know nothing! I had merely fashioned the placenta into a head shape and was holding it above my own when the doc felt for me - still, it means I might have another piccy of me for you to hang on the wall next the others (you are framing and mounting my portraits aren't you?).

Now, to address my vaguely illiterate title.
It appears that my alleged father (the bald, stout one) does indeed try to work hard at school. During the annual film show at his school, he not only showed one of his short animated films (to some acclaim) but was honored with one of the highest awards that the school can bestow on a student. Here is a crude facsimile of his achievement.

Now he just needs to find a job, after all, the money he won along with this award isn't going to be enough to keep me in the manner in which I intend to become accustomed.

In other news - my newest best buddy was born a couple of days ago! Madeline Margaret Wood Hooper was born to my alleged parents' good friends, Roy and Julia. I've seen the photos and she's pretty hot, even for a scrunched up newborn, so hands off you other mugs, I've got her number.

Until next time,

HJB out.