Look what I can do!

Hello subjects, um, fellow citizens...

Well, here I am, fast approaching my fourteenth week here in the the world, and it only seems like I've been here a few months!

I've been doing some serious sleeping on Dad, and have discovered that the top of my itchy bonce fits snugly under his scratchy beard - so I spend most mornings rubbing my scalp on him. I know he loves it - he craves any kind of human interaction, even if he is being used.

Don't think I've been slacking off with my world plans for peace and domination - I take every available moment to contemplate new even more fiendish schemes.

When I finally get a new idea I try not to show it - but I think the parents might be onto me - I have no idea what gives the game away...

In an effort to foster a more creative train of thinking, mum and dad took me to a special exhibition all about some geezer called Leonado Da Vinci. It was all about his inventions, and had nothing to do with his secret code, which was a bit of a let down. Still, he was a clever fellow, and I firmly believe that some of his inventions will come in very useful in the future - especially if I have to storm any battlements. Here is mum showing me around.

And here is dad catching digital butterflies in front of a giant screen while I excitedly snooze.

I have to admit - I think all this stimulation is paying off. These days I take a lot more interest in the books dad reads to me - I am actually concerned for the long eared rabbit in this classic bit of literature.

I have also been practising sitting up - and am very close to doing it all by myself. Let me do it! I'm a big boy!

I'm getting the hand of this standing up lark too. I love locking my knees in place, and sometimes I have a little dance with dad. He's a nut.

At the end of the day though, there's nothing I like better than plonking down in front of the telly with a brewski and the remote and flicking between the Sci-Fi channel and the Girls Gone Wild adverts.

OK - I'll love you and leave you,

Until next time, HJB out.

Three Months Old!

How time flies.
It's hard to believe that I have gone from this:


to this!


I had a lot of fun during Halloween - it gave me a great opportunity to try out some menacing poses, and I think the costume helped a little bit to sell my role as the baby of death - mwahahaha!


Well, it did until mom put this bib on me that was sent from England by my good pal Bruce. As much as I love my new bib, I feel that it detracts somewhat from the look of malevolence that I was striving for.


Mom and dad are getting a good workout these days whenever they pick me up - my last weigh-in clocked me at 14.5 lbs, that's heavier than dad's bowling ball. In my defense, they did weigh me before a particularly momentous bowel movement, so in actuality I am probably closer to 9 lbs.


So what else is new? Well, I enjoy sucking on my fist which seems to be a great way to communicate to my alleged parents that I am hungry - it works every time. I like to flail my arms and legs around a lot and enjoy gripping various things such as my toy monkey, my rings, mom's hair, dad's chest hair and uncle Paul's wrist hair. I think this is making me very popular.
Speaking of hair, I love getting my hair washed.


However, during these shampoo sessions, I can't help but look at dad's head and wonder if the same fate is going to befall me.


Actually, I do a lot of looking up these. My alleged parents have these things called 'lights' dotted all over the house, and like a moth I just can't tear my eyes away from them. Dad was trying to show me one of his paintings the other day, but I found the light fitting directly above me much more interesting. Says a lot for his technique I think.


Oh well, that's the end of this week's report. Everything is going swimmingly and we are all having fun. I'm looking forward to the end of the year when I will be fought over by a couple of grandmas and treated to my first English-style Xmas right here in sunny California!
I'll leave you with a spooky, disembodied head shot of me. Dad thinks it's cute, but I like to think of it more as a terrifying portrait of mystery and portent.


Until next time, HJB out.