Sunday, October 26, 2008
He said that on this blog it is pretty 'low rez' - whatever that means - but he added that if anyone wants to download the full rez version in glorious HarryVision please drop him a line and he'll make it available to you through www.2Peer.com
Anyway, here it is.
The more observant among you may have noticed a title change for this blog.
This came about after my personal advisor, mentor and uncle Paul mentioned that future employers might not like to know I was into world domination when they google me before an interview.
I can't say I've been googled before - but I quite like the sound of it.
Having said that - changing a title doesn't have to mean changing one's plans now... does it.
Monday, October 13, 2008
I feel really old now; there's a touch of stiffness in my knees and my hearing isn't what it used to be.
I think I might be losing my hair too - thanks dad.
Well, things are moving along quite nicely here. I have my parents exactly where I want them. Just one quick squeal and they either change my diaper, feed me or suck stuff out of my nose - sometimes all three at once. I am enjoying some quality time with my alleged parents, dad likes to make me giggle by tickling me mercilessly (I must remember this technique for future interrogations).
Mother seems to take great delight in getting me all dressed up like a fancy man - although I shouldn't complain, as my threads have turned many an eye and seem popular with the ladies.
My 'embarrassing' skin conditions (the acne, and the flaky scalp) appear to be clearing up nicely - thank god I won't have to go through this again...It hasn't all been fun and games though. Mother and father have finally revealed their true intentions by taking me to a large, gray building where a lady who 'claimed' to be a nurse stuck five, yes FIVE, needles into my pudgy little legs claiming that it was for my own good.
I ask you, does this look like it was for my own good?
I have to admit though, it wasn't long before I had forgotten the pain and began to practice my singing (encouraged by Auntie Bethany).
I have been attempting the scales, but I can't seem to get past Doh, Ray, Me, Me, Me, Me, ME, ME, ME!
Oh, by the way, if you find that your milk supply is running a little low, that is because the Geek Scout attempt to liberate all the milk in Fort Knockers went extremely well - not only that, but on the way back we stopped off in Idaho and acquisitioned all the potatoes, mwahahaha!
In other news, I've been having some fun with Uncle Paul lately. He has finally discovered how easy it is to change my diaper - that's right man - inhale deeply!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
My good friend, Auntie Melinda, made me this splendid blanket.
This next one is a picture of mum feeding me.
This is me sleeping on dad. Again.
And here's me in the buff. Calm down, ladies, there's enough to go around.
Here I am helping myself to a drink. 'Come on woman! Get it out!'
Here's dad burping me. Note the unsoiled t-shirt he is wearing... for now.
And I leave you with one final image. I might use this shot for my book cover.
Until next time,
Thursday, October 2, 2008
It's been a mixed bag this week. Firstly I got to meet Grandpa Gill. He's a nice old guy who likes to feed me and always makes me smile.
No sooner had I met him, than he and Granny Gill hopped back on a plane and left - but not for long, I suspect...
Since then, I have done some serious laying around. It takes a toll on one's brain thinking up diabolical plots you know.
My favorite thing to wear while I ponder my plans is my camouflaged sleep sack - bet you can't spot me!
I often fall asleep after a particularly heavy meal - dad calls this a 'milk coma'.
He thinks he's so funny.
I make him pay for his insolence though. I just treat him like a common mattress.
I must admit, one of my favorite places to sleep is in my car seat. I can be making enough noise to wake the dead and wriggling like a sack full of eels - but as soon as they put me in this contraption, I just can't help myself, I'm out like a light. I think they must have installed some kind of hypnotic spray device in the handle or something.
Just lately I have been working on my conversation skills - after all, I'm not going to get very far with my ransom demands if I can't make the United Nations understand my demands. Here I am practising on mother.
Part one. Engage the listener.
Part two. Get annoyed when she doesn't understand.
Part three. Get upset when she thinks I just want a diaper change, not 3 billion in used notes and a helicopter.
Part four. Look at her condescendingly.
Part five. Try to open a dialogue one last time.
Part six. Give up. Blow raspberry.
Part seven. Fall asleep again.
Man, this is hard work.