To sleep, perchance to pee.

Greetings worshippers,

It's been a mixed bag this week. Firstly I got to meet Grandpa Gill. He's a nice old guy who likes to feed me and always makes me smile.


No sooner had I met him, than he and Granny Gill hopped back on a plane and left - but not for long, I suspect...

Since then, I have done some serious laying around. It takes a toll on one's brain thinking up diabolical plots you know.


My favorite thing to wear while I ponder my plans is my camouflaged sleep sack - bet you can't spot me!


I often fall asleep after a particularly heavy meal - dad calls this a 'milk coma'.
He thinks he's so funny.


I make him pay for his insolence though. I just treat him like a common mattress.


I must admit, one of my favorite places to sleep is in my car seat. I can be making enough noise to wake the dead and wriggling like a sack full of eels - but as soon as they put me in this contraption, I just can't help myself, I'm out like a light. I think they must have installed some kind of hypnotic spray device in the handle or something.


Just lately I have been working on my conversation skills - after all, I'm not going to get very far with my ransom demands if I can't make the United Nations understand my demands. Here I am practising on mother.

Part one. Engage the listener.


Part two. Get annoyed when she doesn't understand.


Part three. Get upset when she thinks I just want a diaper change, not 3 billion in used notes and a helicopter.


Part four. Look at her condescendingly.


Part five. Try to open a dialogue one last time.


Part six. Give up. Blow raspberry.


Part seven. Fall asleep again.


Man, this is hard work.

HJB out.