Thursday, October 2, 2008

To sleep, perchance to pee.

Greetings worshippers,

It's been a mixed bag this week. Firstly I got to meet Grandpa Gill. He's a nice old guy who likes to feed me and always makes me smile.


No sooner had I met him, than he and Granny Gill hopped back on a plane and left - but not for long, I suspect...

Since then, I have done some serious laying around. It takes a toll on one's brain thinking up diabolical plots you know.


My favorite thing to wear while I ponder my plans is my camouflaged sleep sack - bet you can't spot me!


I often fall asleep after a particularly heavy meal - dad calls this a 'milk coma'.
He thinks he's so funny.


I make him pay for his insolence though. I just treat him like a common mattress.


I must admit, one of my favorite places to sleep is in my car seat. I can be making enough noise to wake the dead and wriggling like a sack full of eels - but as soon as they put me in this contraption, I just can't help myself, I'm out like a light. I think they must have installed some kind of hypnotic spray device in the handle or something.


Just lately I have been working on my conversation skills - after all, I'm not going to get very far with my ransom demands if I can't make the United Nations understand my demands. Here I am practising on mother.

Part one. Engage the listener.


Part two. Get annoyed when she doesn't understand.


Part three. Get upset when she thinks I just want a diaper change, not 3 billion in used notes and a helicopter.


Part four. Look at her condescendingly.


Part five. Try to open a dialogue one last time.


Part six. Give up. Blow raspberry.


Part seven. Fall asleep again.


Man, this is hard work.

HJB out.

5 comments:

Rebecca said...

Keep up the great scheming HJB, your time will come! xo, Rebecca and Lexie

JediMelindaWolf said...

ROTFLOL

It's important to learn how to speak in code, Harrison. You're well on your way to your goal. You don't want folks to know what you're up to, now do you?


:-)

amidalooine said...

Nothing snarky to say. He's just absolutely beautiful. :)

YZF said...

Loving his expressions!

Anonymous said...

Lucky parents, with the falling asleep in the car seat thing. My brother raised holy hell for the entirety of every trip when he was a baby.